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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

The First Pitch Story- Part I: The long winded, unnecessarily detailed introduction

This is a true story. It involves my dad, and the Boston Red Sox. And also some boy scouts, an ox-like fenway employee, and an opera singer. It also kind of involves one time that my dad sang the national anthem in the middle of the quilt store in Montana. Let's start with that, the Montana story:

Several years ago, my parents and I were driving through Montana on our way to go camping in Glacier National Park, aka the prettiest place on earth. We stopped at a quilt store called 3 Dog Down, which rated its down quilts by warmness in terms of how many dogs one would need in their tent to keep them as warm as that quilt. A 1 dog quilt was for a 1 dog night, when there was only a slight chill in the air, one corrected by the body heat of only one canine. The logic follows then that a 2 dog quilt is twice as warm, for twice as cold a night, and a 3 dog quilt was for a night so cold one would need to snuggle with not 1, but 3 dogs for warmth. If that person was me, they would discover that snuggling with dogs in your igloo, while great for warmth is really a pain in the neck for your allergies. So, this might lead one to believe that a down quilt is in fact a better alternative than the traditional multi-dog cuddling method. Unless of course one was also allergic to down, but I digress.

Anyways...While we were shopping at 3 dog down, my father started talking to the owner, Cowboy Bob. Who also goes by Bronco Bob, in case you were wondering. Also in case you were wondering, yes Cowboy Bob does have a webpage. Well Cowboy Bob, and my father (also a Bob, we sometimes call him Bob the Builder, so to make things simpler, I will refer to him as such here) got to talking about baseball. Both Bobs love baseball. Cowboy Bob mentioned that he had once sang the national anthem at a Colorado Rockies game. He showed Bob the Builder photographic evidence of the event, in case he was in doubt. He also mentioned that he offered a 10% discount to any customer willing to sing the national anthem in the middle of the store. Bob the Builder, who has long loved to sing, and long had questionable talent for it (he was once politely asked to lipsinc by his chorus teacher in high school) was happy to oblige. And sing he did! A bit off key, and loudly in the middle of the store. And Cowboy Bob so admired his enthusiasm, that he joined in as well. Soon the two Bobs were standing, arms wrapped around each other, belting out our nation's anthem for all to hear. And then Cowboy Bob offered Bob the Builder not just 10% off his purchase, but 25%, and also a free 3 dog down hat. And so Bob the Builder bought a quilt.

Well, that experience was the closest my father had come to singing the American anthem at a major league baseball game, or in fact doing anything at a major league baseball game besides drinking beer, eating hot dogs and keeping a careful scorecard. Up until this, that is.

Stay tuned for part II: the actual event.

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